


Death Has Kissed Your Skin, My Love.

by Dracoskull



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Akumatized Ladybug, Cure doesn't completely fix dying, F/M, It leaves scars for each death, LOTS of violence, ML Ultimate Guess Who Challenge, Mild Gore, Miraculous Cure- Freeform, Original Akuma, Red Weaver, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, chat dies, it's only temporary, just mild refrences i swear i dont go into detail, mentions of dying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2018-10-19 14:09:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10641465
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dracoskull/pseuds/Dracoskull
Summary: Every time it's the same thing. Chat takes an otherwise lethal blow for Ladybug, the red clad hero chases away Death at the last second, and no damage is left to be seen. That's how Mari has always known it to be...Till she sees the kisses Death left on his's skin.Sometimes even the greatest hero falls for those they love.





	1. Chapter 1

What had started as a beautiful day, had quickly degraded into a nightmare of epic proportions.

  


Marinette had only just gotten up maybe two hours ago that morning. Her alarm was set to wake her up at seven o’clock on the dot, but like every morning she’d managed to somehow get out of bed, tag the snooze button, and climb back into her cozy pink and white sheets, all without waking up Tikki who slept beside her on the pillow.

It was only thanks to Tikki’s internal clock letting her know it was thirty minutes after seven that Mari was up at all. A few tries to wake mari and one trick that involved a naked Adrien was enough to spark the girl’s dream addled mind, sending her stumbling out of bed to make herself presentable to the non-existent Adrien she so desperately desired to be real. A quick shower, a scolding from Tikki, and five minutes spent whirling through her room like a self-contained tornado to get her things ready, and the raven haired fashionista was on her way downstairs to a hearty breakfast and a hug goodbye from her parents before she was off to school as usual.

 

Mari had made it to school barely in time to catch Alya where she usually waited by the lockers for a short conversation before the bell rang to signal the start of class. She’d barely made it into the classroom, just in time to see the love of her life standing in the perfect ray of sunshine that gave his hear an oh-so breathtaking glow, when the sirens rang out with the shrill cry not even a mother could love. After four years of Akuma attacks and Hawkmoth still on the prowl, the school along with a majority of other public buildings and offices, had installed ‘akuma alarms’ alongside the usual fire alarm systems, to give students, faculty, and whoever else a chance to find cover or locate family before another of Hawkmoth’s creations came barreling through a wall to wreck havok. Honestly, the Akuma attacks had grown so widespread, often trailing miles away from their point of origin that buildings up to five miles from the site of an akuma would evacuate to safer locations. Sadly, they still haven’t invented a way to keep track of the students in the panic making it even easier for Marinette (and Adrien not that she knew) to make an exit for somewhere safe, and private. The Akuma Alert blared loud and clear, mentioning an Akuma sighting near the Cathédrale Notre-Dame.

 

Dashing into the abandoned classroom they had just vacated while casually ignoring the remaining information handed to her by a nifty warning system, Mari uttered a few words to her floating red companion before exclaiming the phrase: “Tikki, Transform me!”

  


She would never get used to the feeling of the transformation.

 

The chill that ran across her skin as pure power cascaded over her flesh to form a protective second layer as her normal everyday clothes disintegrated to who knows where.

 

The rush of adrenaline as that power seeped through her skin, sinking deep into her muscles and bones to empower her against the foe she’d soon face.

 

The freedom of knowing the magic hid her identity, freeing her from the clumsy mask of Marinette to embrace the power and responsibility of the miraculous Ladybug.

 

It was all so gratifying, but it never lasted long as the screams of innocent bystanders caught up in some contrived plot to take over the world was carried out by another unwitting victim brought Ladybug back into focus.

 

She had a job to do, and that job wasn’t in here marveling. Pushing one of the windows open, the red clad hero pulled free the Yoyo at her hip just in time to send it hurling across the Parisian airspace with a flick of the wrist, watching as it found it’s mark on the chimney stack of a nearby building. With one strong tug, Ladybug felt the ground beneath her vanish as the cold autumn wind rushed by.

 

Landing near the rooftop she’d snagged onto, the blue-pigtail sporting hero caught sight of a familiar black suit and silver pole, with just a dash of sunshine for hair. Chat Noir was nearby, a fact they’d become used to after years of meetings like this. She gave her feline a quick greeting as they passed by the Eiffel Tower, blocked out his usual banter with a quick quip, and turned her attention to the rising pillars of smoke that stretched to the heavens. The Akuma was only a few kilometers away, not far from the school and by the sounds of screams, not far from anyone else either.

 

They’d heard the name long before they reached him, still only a minute or so away now. A deep voice bellowed, sounding as if it came from deep without a steel drum. “I am The Dozer!” before more screams joined the already growing cacophony.

 

“Boy he certainly sounds like a bore , don't you think My Lady?” Chat offered with a hand gestured to her as if asking for her hand, or giving her a turn at the mic. “I might just take a nap. Already i’m dozing off!” He quipped with the usual cheshire grin that made her want to simultaneously slap him, and kiss him. Only briefly mind you, her heart still belonged to Adrien, but Ladybug had to admit she was starting to warm up to chat. Probably all the times he’d saved her were starting to wear on her resolve. It was most certainly not all his puns or his cute need to show off for her all the dang time. No sir.

 

“As much as i’d love a cat nap right now Chaton,” She began, but her statement morphed with the sounds of a building collapsing nearby. “But i get the feeling he won't be sleeping on the job right now. “ The way Chat’s lips curled with mirth as a light twinkled in his eyes made her toes want to curl. She’d grown so used to Chat’s silly puns and banter she’d started replying with her own, and seeing the way it tickled the cat pink only made her want to keep going, though she had to temper it lest she inflate his ego more. It already rivaled the Eiffel Tower in height.

 

Another resounding crash broke the red clad hero from her trance, pushing her to throw out the yoyo and get closer to the site. Chat, always the chivalrous knight was a step ahead of her, acting as a vanguard.

 

A block over and half down another building collapsed, it’s support beams knocked out by a pair of gnarly metal horns. Crashing through the building that was once emblazoned with the sign "Shakespeare and Company" was what looked like some bronze monster born straight out of the fires of Hephaestus’ grand forge. It must have been ten feet tall at best, steel horns goring through the floor of the second story like a hot knife through butter. It was roughly shaped like a Minotaur with a bull’s head and back legs grafted to the body of a man, made entirely out of machinery you’d find at a construction site. It even wore a hard hat, though it was integrated into the horns and skull too well to stand out much.  

Coming to a stop at the bridge nearest the akuma connecting the Cathédrale Notre-Dame to the mainland, Ladybug heard the black cat beside her make a comment about it being a true tragedy, whatever that meant, but her attention was focused more on the akuma then him.

 

“I am Dozer! You thought you could fire me for machinery malfunction? I’ll show you all malfunction! I’ll bring this city down atop your heads!” The monster bellowed as it pounded it’s heavy fists to it’s chest, creating a resounding beat before it charged head first into yet another building.  

 

Chat, for all he was worth, always knew when to make a bad jokes. “My Lady, i feel a sense of deja vu. You wouldn’t happen to have any Yarn on you would you?”

 

Ever the junky for his jokes, Ladybug responded with a hidden smile. “Why, whatever would you need Yarn for?”

 

Not missing a beat, the black cat gave her a cheeky smirk as he responded “Why, to find my way back to you after i slay this beast of course!” Ladybug responded with an eyeroll, but she was smiling nonetheless. Curse her Theseus and his sense of humor.

 

Their little moment was cut short when the minotaur caught site of the two of them and changed course, careening towards them with death in his eyes. “Ladybug, Chat Noir! Give me your miraculously before i gore you with my horns!”

 

The faux-black leather clad hero could never resist a taunt in his life. “Tell your master Minos to take a hint! He hasn’t won them yet, and he won't get them yet!” With the taunt out, the black feline vaulted himself over the minotaur akuma, sending the pair of silver steel horns crashing into a building as he landed with the grace of his associated animal.

 

And like that, the battle began. Like many battles before it, Ladybug tended to tune out most of what was going on outside the ‘zone’ to focus all her attention on the akuma and Chat Noir. Too many times in the past she’d let her surroundings distract her, and watched as Chat Noir paid the price. It was those moments, watching Chat get hurt or worse, that haunted her nightmares. Most people her age worried over payments, jobs, careers, college, and general life stuff. Normal stuff.

 

Marinette on the other hand worried for the safety of her partner. Over the long four years of being Ladybug, she’d witnessed the black cat near death countless times, and witnessed him controlled countless more! Watching someone you cared about fall over and over again from swords, knives, bombs, poisons, strangulation, and worse never really left you alone. It took days to get over the event, even if there was no lasting effect.

 

“Miraculous Cure undoes all the damage Marinette, even death.” Tikki’s words rang in her ears again, but the explosion rang louder still. Visions and dread cleared from her thoughts as she surveyed the battle once more. Chat Noir danced through the building rubble, taunting the Dozer with his best material as he guided the monster in away from the population and along the Quai des Grands Augustins to minimize damage and buy time. Sadly, Ladybug dropped the ball again. Her dozing off (pun not intended) over some bad memories was liable to be another reason she’d be partnerless if she kept it up.

 

Shaking her head clear of thoughts, Ladybug tossed her miraculous into the air as she hurried to keep pace, missing the sound of a familiar rotting of stonework in the distance as she focused on the item that fell into her hands. A blanket? A red blanket with black spots that was three feet by two feet wide? What was she going to do with a kid’s blanket against a minotaur-

 

Oh.

 

She’d have to bait him like a Matador? That wasn’t so bad. Make him crash into a building or two, she could do. Looking up from her hiding spot behind the remnants of what was once a wall, Ladybug surveyed the field once more to see what could not be seen. Sure enough the blanket flashed red and black, before her gaze turned to the minotaur, his horns flashing, then the wall of a nearby bank, lighting up like a christmas tree.

 

It was easy, the plan was simple enough. She just had to bait the Dozer into the sturdy wall of the bank, hopefully he’d knock himself unconscious, and-

 

CRUNCH

 

The sound was wet, like a branch sunk inside a bag of water and sand just snapped to pieces. The air inside Ladybug’s lungs was forced out as if she’d been suckerpunched when that sound was accompanied by the painful wails she’d grown all too familiar with hearing. Skin turned clammy as her heart caught in her throat, a chill running down her spine as laughter rose into the air.

 

Ladybug didn’t dare look, she knew all too well what sight awaited her if she did, but she had to know.

 

She couldn’t stop herself from looking no matter how great she screamed, cried, and begged with her body not to. There not thirty feet away from her hiding spot, was the Dozer, standing triumphantly over a pile of yellow and grey rubble of what had once been the backside of the Monnaie de Paris. Amidst the grey and red chrunks and bricks was a distinctly human, distinctly misshapen body clad in black leather. He was face down in the rubble, sitting at the base of a half gone wall that bore two distinct holes from a set of iron horns. For a single moment, Ladybug’s world stopped cold as all eyes fixated on the motionless black form at the feet of the akuma.

 

She prayed Chat got up, but when he started to move, the minotaur akuma lifted a mighty hoof, and brought it down on the boy’s back. Something ruptured though the black leather of Chat’s shoulder, a distinct black rod with a sharpened point dripping with a crimson red that caught the sun in a way that made her stomach twist. The Dozer just laughed, reveling in the joy of the pain he caused as he ground his hoof harder into Chat’s back, adding more bone wrenching sounds to the air. It was like her nightmares had manifested themselves into reality yet again.

 

All thought fled the heroine's mind as it streamlined her, locking away every fault and weakness in an effort to protect her from the pain her heart endured. She had a few precious minutes before Chat succumbed to his wounds, she had to win before that. The blue haired girl inside her couldn’t dare stand a second longer than that.

 

With the efficiency of a well calibrated machine, the red clad hero flung the yoyo at her waist, wrapping the cord around the minotaur’s foot to pull him off of her partner and into another pile of rubble he’d created. As the mechanical monstrosity regained his footing, she jeered him with some insult her brain had offered her mouth without thought as she maneuvered around him, picking up the red and black blanket to wave it in the air with a resounding ‘Torro Torro!”

 

Dozer did not look impressed. As she slowly stepped to the side, the minotaur akuma ground his hoof into the dirt, kicking a few pieces free as he let loose a terrifying snort. “Do you think i’m some kind of stupid? That won't work on me! I’m Dozer!” But just like his namesake, the minotaur charged headlong, lowering his horns to the optimal level to gore a would be hero if she were normal.

 

Thankfully, Ladybug was anything but. With perfect reflexes gifted by a small god, the black spotted heroine lashed out her yoyo, pulling herself straight over the Dozer as he sailed straight over the lip of the road and onto the sidewalk below. Thank her lucky stars no pedestrians were there, he probably would have crushed them.  
  
As the minotaur akuma pulled himself out of the ground and climbed back onto the street, Ladybug positioned herself between him and another wall of the Monnaie de Paris, waving her blanket like a flag again. “Torro Torro!” Despite his rage filled comments about ‘not being a bull’ and ‘that won't work on me twice!’ Dozer charged headlong again, horns down and ready. This time, when ladybug lashed her yoyo out, she delayed the pull. At the last moment she gave the cord a tug, zipping up just as the minotaur’s hard hat came within reach. Her lithe fingers curled around the brim, tugging on it with the momentum of her yoyo to yank his head upright just as he collided with the wall. Now rather than his horns goring stone, it was his metal face that met brick.  
  
Touching down in front of the new backdoor she’d made with a minotaur, Ladybug peeked inside to see if her idea had worked. Sure enough, the Dozer was sprawled along the floor inside the mint, his face badly conceived from the impact. By the small whines and jerks of his body, he wasn’t in any shape to fight anymore.  
  
Content with her work, Ladybug began to inspect Dozer for the akumatized item before her eyes settled on a pink slip of paper jutting out between two plates on his hip, it’s edges tinted a hideous lavender as it flapped in the breeze to get free.

 

Snatching the paper from the akuma with all care to avoid waking him, Ladybug tore the paper in half to free the real akuma from it’s hiding place. A twist of the wrist, a draw of the string, and one good tose, Ladybug purified the akuma in the robotic movement she’d grown accustomed to in such moments. Watching the butterfly take it’s leave, she gave a solemn ‘bye bye pretty butterfly’ before tossing the blanket skyward, shouting “Miraculous Cure!” to start the healing process. From the red fabric erupted a swarm of magical ladybugs that took flight, swarming over the city to repair the damage done. Buildings raised, signs hung themselves, and people returned to good health, Ladybug’s mind finally caught up with itself, letting her process the imagery she’d bore witness to before the end.

 

Without a moment’s hesitation, Ladybug rushed back outside the mint, oblivious to the victim or  the remains of the combat disappearing as the swarm of ladybugs descended on her partner. To her greatest relief, Chat Noir offered up a groan in protest as the black window bar that had been embedded in his shoulder vanished back onto the window of the Monnaie de Paris where it belonged in. Black sealed over wounds as skin and bone mended, erasing all traces of the battle. Masking the tears stinging at her eyes, Ladybug knelt beside Chat to examine him as the swarm went off to repair whatever else was left. Thankfully enough, he seemed to be completely unharmed now.

 

The black cat looked up to the red clad hero, offering her a cheshire grin as he slowly got to his feet again, dusting himself off. “See? I told you i’d doze off at some point, he was so boring!” He offered her the joke, trying to smooth over the pain and fatigue from combat as he always did. It was so habitual for them both, Ladybug worried, Chat eased it away, Marinette never bothered to question why it was so normal by now. Why did he need to soothe her? Simple, she always ended up worrying about him... right?

 

Ladybug for her part was holding together rather well despite it. “I told you, now wasn’t the time for cat naps Mon Chaton.”

 

“Oh please, hasn’t anyone ever told you cats sleep when they want?” He raised his fist to the air, ready for the usual celebratory fist bump that had long since become habit. It had been a small reprieve from her worries, but that died when their fists connected. The way Chat’s nose scrunched and eyes crinkled, Ladybug knew immediately the pain that was rolling through his features as he tried to hide it. It resembled the expression he gave her in her dreams, that moment of pain before she was whisked away against her will, forced to watch him throw himself across buildings without the usual cat-like grace he always possessed. the same dreams that prefaced her worst nightmare. Was she going to open her eyes again and find him sprawled in some alley way, drenched in a pool of his own blood?

 

Her brain snapped back into reality a second to late to catch his black tail waving behind Chat as he took off. Ladybug ignored her spiraling thoughts, crying out for Chat to stop but he must not have heard her, never even looked back to acknowledge her or give her the usual smile to sooth her woes. Concern bubbled up in her throat as fear coiled around the fashionista's mind like a vice, squeezing out any common sense she may have had. Before any thought could be given to it, her feet began to move, hand curling around the magic yoyo on her side before sending it off to find a spot she could swing from. He was clearly still injured despite her Cure, and it vexed her. This was all too much like her nightmares, waking up in the middle of the night screaming as visions of a lifeless black faux-leather clad corpse hid somewhere in the back alleys of Paris' streets.

 

No, this wouldn't be like her dream. No one could stop her from following him. She wouldn't fail him this time, she wouldn't leave him like she had to so many times in her dreams. From that fear rose determination, hopeless determination to do right by the partner who protected her for so long. It coursed through her veins, empowering each throw and step as she gave chase to the black speck of a man she knew needed her.

 

Ladybug had followed him at least three kilometers from the Monnaie de Paris, landing on the roof of some white residential buildings where Chat had disappeared from sight not a moment sooner. Finding a small alley way between two of the buildings, Ladybug prepared to gather her courage and confront the black cat on his injuries. Before she could find the spirit to call after him, a bright flash of green blinded her, followed by distinct whimpers of pain. Her mind seized up as she turned her eyes back to the alley, settling on a tuft of blonde hair and a white shirt dropped to one knee, a familiar looking black ball floating beside him.

 

“Adrien!” There was no mistaking the name, even if it came from a high pitched floating black cat. “I told you not to get cocky! Do you realize how close you came to experiencing death **_again_ **?!” The concern that laced its voice was nothing compared to the agony that filled every syllable of the words that came in response.

 

“I’m fine Plagg… just missed a step is all…” The way his breath seized with each intake felt like a boa squirming into her chest, squeezing the breath from her own lungs as blue bell eyes remained frozen, locked onto a mop of blonde hair.

 

"Just a missed step?! Adrien, he crushed your spine, forced part of your ribcage into both your lungs, and I’m pretty sure **your heart stopped beating**! " The black cat howled, voice raising in pitch till Mari was sure someone could hear his cries. Adrien seemed to notice it too, waving one hand at the black cat as if he could magically wave away the feline's concern.

 

"I know Plagg… i was there, remember?” That seemed to steal some of the black cat’s anger, simmering down his seething enough to make him sensible again.  
  
“You shouldn’t be risking death so often Adrien… you know it doesn’t just go away like that.” Plagg’s anger melted into heartfelt concern, his voice dropping too low for Ladybug to hear anymore. As he chatted softly, the black kwami began to fly around the blonde boy, testing his pain. When Adrien winced from the smallest touch, Plagg made a ‘tsk’ sound. “Come on, off with the shirt and let’s see how bad it is this time…”

 

Adrien shrugged off his jacket slowly, then struggled to get his black shirt free of him. What Ladybug saw before her made bile rise into her throat. Adorning the flesh of Adrien’s back were a marriott of scars ranging in every shape and size known to man. Most were faded, soft white and pink against his tan skin from injuries sustained long ago, but the newest scars were not. There on his right shoulder was a brand new patch of flaming red skin in the shape of a circular hole, where an iron window bar had been not ten minutes prior. To its left was a thin scar from a double edged blade that had stabbed through his clavicle. Beside that was a single point from a gunshot. Below those was a pointed scar from an arrow’s tip. A hot iron imprint, whip scars, claw tears, explosion marks, every scar Mari knew shouldn’t be there but were. She knew each mark, seen each near death countless times over and over again. And the biggest of all the scars was another new one, aching bright red stretch of skin shaped in an upside down ‘U’. The Dozer’s hoof.

 

Ladybug’s grip tightened on the edge of the building she was peeking over. If she could see her skin, her knuckles would probably be bone white right now as her body began to shake. Every breath shook with the ferocity of an earthquake that began to pass through every bone inside her.  
  
Plagg had gotten out a small case of makeup from Adrien’s bag, some skin tone concealer he began to apply carefully over each scar.  
  
The idea had been to conceal the scars from prying eyes, even his makeup team since they barely ever touched under the neckline, but even as they disappeared from sight Ladybug could not get them out of her mind.

 

Adrien Agreste, love of her life and the boy of her dreams, bore the scars of Chat Noir. If his name coming out of the mouth of the black cat Kwami hadn’t been enough to convince her young mind, those scars certainly did.

 

As Adrien chatted with Plagg about the attack and the things he could have done better, Ladybug slid down onto the roof of the building, stomach churning and mind reeling far too much to stand anymore.  
  
Chat was… Adrien Agreste. Those words kept playing back in her mind. Why was it so obvious now? Same hair, same eyes, same voice, same attitude, same lame jokes that made her want to gag and smile all the time.  
  
It wasn’t hard to imagine really, Chat Noir being Adrien Agreste. Chat had to be a boy behind that mask after all, why not Adrien? Of Course it crossed Marinette’s mind once or twice, but she’d always found some reason to dismiss it that came down to finding it hard to see Adrien as Chat. How could it be so simple to work one way, yet so impossible to work the other? The images of the two clashed in her mind, stirring up a new hornet’s nest of thoughts.  
  
Chat Noir was Adrien Agreste, which meant all those times Chat had been flirting with her. It should have made her ecstatic to know Adrien actually liked her, but her mind couldn’t bare to settle there. No, instead it continued down the chain of thoughts, dredging up something dark.  
  
Adrien was Chat Noir, which meant that it wasn’t some random boy throwing himself into harm’s way, dying just so that she as Ladybug could save the city and undo the destruction.  
  
No, that was Adrien. The love of her life, her sun and moon, the boy who made her world go round, was throwing himself into the way for every blow meant for _her_ .  
  
_How… How could she do that to him?_ Her mind screamed at her, filling her thoughts with aching anger and hatred that was burning her up alive. Fingers lacing into her blue/black hair to grip around the roots and tear at the strands, hoping the burning pain would somehow ease her throbbing skull.  
  
_This was Adrien Agreste we’re was talking about!_ **_THE ADRIEN AGRESTE!_ ** _You have been_ _allowing_ _him to throw himself into the thick of battle,_ _letting_ _him get himself_ **_killed_ ** _for you!_ How could she stand herself anymore? She’d watched countless times over and over as Chat threw himself into battle and nearly died for her, but now she was forced to watch it all over again with Adrien in his place.  
  
Adrien turned against her by an arrow.  
  
Adrien skewered by a pike.  
  
Adrien gored by an akuma boar.  
  
Adrien lite on fire by a fight fighter.  
  
Bludgeoned, beaten, hacked, burned, shot, electrocuted, over and over again the thoughts played in an endless cycle that seared into her brain and chipped away at her like a sawblade cutting through wood.  
  
How could she let him do that?!  
  
How could she be okay with him dying for her?!  
  
_You let him die!_

_You watched him burn!_  
_You threw him to his death!_  
**_YOU LET HIM DIE!_ **  
  
Again and again her feverish thoughts berated her with such severity that she could no longer hear anything, no longer see the world around her as she sank into the deprivating self-loathing and contempt for herself.    


She allowed him to die, it was all her fault! No one else was to blame but her for letting her love get himself killed! Why didn’t she stop him? Why didn’t she tie him to a post and leave him till the fight was over?! Anger coursed through her veins as she gripped onto the edge of the building, beating her skull against it as hard as she could. Oh how she wished it would make the pain go away!  
  
She didn’t want to see him die again. She couldn’t live with herself if she had to! Yet it was all her fault she had to in the first place.  
  
She let him die!  
  
She let him die!

  
**SHE LET HIM DIE AGAIN AND AGAIN!** **  
****  
** She had to stop him, she needed to protect him, she needed to-

**  
****  
** ****_“Hello Red Weaver… I am Hawkmoth.”_


	2. The Fall of Ladybug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What must it be like in the mind of the great hero of paris Ladybug as she's brought under the sway of Hawkmoth?
> 
> You're about to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Warning: this chapter contains refrences to Self-Deprication, Blood, subtle Gore, Mental Distress, and Non-perminant mind alteration (which is what being akumatized is tbh). Please use discretion before reading. The Author in no way condones the act of self-deprication or self-harm. You are all great people no matter what anyone says, even the voices in your head.]

It was like falling out of one’s own skin. For a brief moment, Marinette had been Ladybug. The Strong, independent, infallible hero of Paris that stood as a wall between the common folk and the bizarre villains beyond. The next, she was watching that image of her fade as she fell away, as if having dropped out of her own skin like it was the Ladybug suit itself.  
  
She couldn’t help the panicked flail and futile grasping for that image of her. Marinette tried to call for help, for Chat Noir, Rena Rouge, Carapace, Queen Bee, Master Fu, even Tikki.   
  
Someone, Anyone!   
  
Glancing down, she made the horrible mistake of looking to see /where/ she was falling.   
  
It was an endless expanse, yet it was filled with a thick black ooze. Marinette could not stop herself from plummeting into it, sinking deep into it before she could even think. She couldn’t see or hear anything as the ooze clung to her, barely able to even distinguish which way was up.

 

Then she felt it. A familiar faux leather over broad chest bump against her legs. She grabbed onto it as a familiar calming comfort swept over her. Marinette wasn’t alone in here. Leave it to Chat Noir to be there in her darkest time. Holding tight to him, the young seamstress kicked for the surface. The ooze resisted, but it did not halt her. Finally she broke the surface and claimed her first breath.

 

Then let it out in a scream. A short, horrid scream that stagnated quickly in her throat.

 

Blood. Blood and black ooze dripping over cold grey skin. Flesh torn asunder in the shape of a bull’s hoof in the back and a hole in his shoulder. Glassy eyes devoid of all life that should be there.

 

Something broke the surface beside her when the last bit of sound escaped her throat. It was cold, large, and felt of familiar faux leather.

 

And another came up behind her.

 

One after another, more breached the surface of the ooze to bob in it’s waters like a sick game of ‘bobbing for apples’. Each one in black leather, Pale yellow hair and faded green eyes. Each baring its own mark of how he died.

 

Hundreds of them surface, blood mixing with the ooze until Marinette waded in a thick pool of crimson red.

 

The chat in her arms stirred. It’s lifeless eyes turning to face her. “you let this happen.” His words came gargled in the black and red gunk that spilled from his cold lips.

 

Another’s head turned, half submerged in the sea of red with one glassy eye fixing her with a cold stare. “You were too slow to save me.”

 

From behind her, chat’s voice came from broken jaws shattered by a strong punch. “You hesitated too long.”

 

Their voices filled the void, one lifeless corpse after another uttering unsaid fears at the mortified girl who had already abandoned the corpse of her partner to try and block out the sounds.

 

“You didn’t care enough.”

“You waited too long to say it”

“You let her get to you”

“you weren't brave enough”

 

**“You let me die.”**

 

The bodies began to move towards her, their words cutting as deep as their claws that began to sink into her clothes and skin with feverish desperation. They were dragging her down, clawing at her as she struggled to remain afloat despite their burden.

 

She let him die. She let him die so many times before. Marinette had failed her Chaton, her Adrien, again and again and again, and now they were going to drag her down to where she belonged, in the depth of this oozing hellscape.

 

She was too slow.

 

Too hesitant.

 

Too clumsy

 

Too rash

 

_Too weak_

 

Her lungs burned as she struggled to reach for the receding surface, their taunts filling her minds.   
  
She didn’t want to fail him!   
  
She didn’t want chat to die!

 

If she could just reach the surface she could save him!

 

She needed help. They were too heavy. Their claws tore restlessly at her as their words burned her mind.

 

Help. She needed help. She needed someone to save her!

 

A second chance

 

She just needed a second chance!

 

If she could just try again, she could save him! Take him away from all the dangers and threats and just keep him safe.  
  
She just wanted to keep him safe…

  
  


A light. A lavender light pierced the void. It stretched down, breaking the surface of the inky ooze and blood. The claws drew back, sinking into the void below with horrid hisses revolting at the light.   
  
She felt so light again. The ooze could not hold her anymore. She stretched for the surface, hand grasping for the light.

 

And a hand. She found a hand that grabbed for her, pulled her from the ooze that still clung to her desperately.

 

A face, so bright and kind smiled at her, ringed with a soft lavender light.

 

Kindness and warmth enveloped her, easing the sting of the ooze that still gnawed on her raw skin.

 

“You want a second chance?” The voice offered, calm and patient despite everything around it.

 

‘yes’ The word meekly broke through sobs of relief.

 

“The chance to fix your mistakes?” He cooed, brushing one hand against her cheek to push the red bangs of hair from her faded eyes as new energy filled her.

 

‘Yes’ It came stronger this time as she steadied herself.

 

“To protect the boy closest to you?” The offer felt so sincere, so genuine from behind those blue eyes.

 

_Yes_

 

 _“_ I can give you that chance, but you must help me in return. Would you do that?”

 

**_Yes_ **

 

“Then take my hand, Red Weaver. And take your second chance.”

 

**_Yes, Hawkmoth_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEYO!
> 
> Guess who got smacked over the head last night by the Gods of Writing? YES IT WAS ME :D
> 
> So i know i promised a second part for so long, but real life hasn't exactly been kind to me and i don't get a lot of time or motivation to write for this. 
> 
> Despite all that, i have been brainstorming what's going to be happening in this fic, and designing what Akumatized!Ladybug aka Red Weaver will look like! atm i only have a few sketches and a bust drawing, but you can check them out in the links below!
> 
> \--> The colored bust and concept: https://dracoskullart.tumblr.com/post/176647132615/guess-whos-got-inspiration-to-continue-his-fic  
> \--> The current half-refrence: https://dracoskullart.tumblr.com/post/178721918635/currently-cleaning-it-up-but-heres-a-front-view  
> \--> The current full render wip: https://dracoskullart.tumblr.com/post/178722417805/current-wip-of-red-weaver-in-action-i-havent
> 
> If you enjoyed this chapter, the fic, or the art, or ya know, didn't, please feel free to let me know here on ao3 or my tumblr! I love feedback as long as you aren't a total ass about it xD
> 
> Hope ya'll are having a good day, and sorry about the nightmare fuel!


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